Happy 4th Birthday, Owen!

My labor started at 5 am on May 5, 2005...just a twitch, enough to wake me up. My emotions were all over the place, I remember calling my dad before we went to the hospital (crying) and he asked if I was scared. Oh I was scared alright! I was freaking out by this point because nothing, and I mean NOTHING prepares you for the pain of childbirth. It's so intense. I remember telling Ryan that I changed my mind - too late! :) So we drove to the hospital in Heidelberg, Germany - Ryan doing his best to miss all the bad bumps in the road and avoiding the flash boxes that snap your picture when you drive too fast. We got there in under 5 minutes. I had been having contractions for at least 4 hours and was leaking fluid. They took me to the mother baby unit triage to check if my water had broken then decided to let the doctor check me out. They put me in a room with the most uncomfortable table I've ever sat on (at least while in labor!) I had a big contraction that made me roll over to my side and *GUSH* my water was broken everywhere. I remember telling Ryan to grab the nurse and tell her that we were checking in and having this baby TODAY! The rest of my labor is a blur for the most part. I remember hearing Ryan eating some chips from Subway and I about ripped his head off for daring to eat in front of me...the IV drugs made me loopy and I talked about my children back at home (?)...my best friend Christine was there and I remember her stroking my head telling me to relax and breath deep...and I remember the pure bliss it was to get an epidural after 18 hours and the nurse telling me I was so cute and skinny from behind, and that the pain was dulled for about 20 minutes before I went into transition when the contractions got really strong and I told Ryan the drugs had worn off already. Then came the pushing, and more pushing, and more pushing...for three long hours I pushed until my eyes almost popped out of my head. Then I just had no strength left...I remember looking at Ryan, teary eyed, telling him I just couldn't do it anymore, it was just too hard. He was at the end of his rope too and ran for the doctor. So the doctor came in and told me that I had two options, vacuum suction or c-section. I was not about to have them suck my child from me so I opted for the c-section. Ryan got to go in with me and was there to hear Owen cry for the first time, born on May 6, 2005 at 0342 (23 hours after my first labor pain) at a big 9 pounds 7.2 ounces and measuring 21 1/4 inches long. Whew, was I tired! This is the first time I got to hold my new baby... Owen was born on a Friday and by Saturday afternoon we knew something wasn't right. The doctor's told us they were trying to figure it out with x-rays and tests and by asking us scary questions...then they told us that because he was born c-section all the fluid hadn't been squeezed out of his tiny lungs, add that to the fever I'd had while in labor and you get an infection...he had congenital pneumonia. The hospital we were in did not have a NICU and Owen had to be transported to the University of Heidelberg Kinderklinikum. I bawled all night, shook with sobs so great they scared Ryan, I didn't have the ability to hand my newborn baby over to the paramedics that came to take him to the NICU. I felt like my heart was breaking to pieces. It was me and Ryan dealing with our first child, sick. My heart was so broken. Ryan followed the ambulance all the way to the next hospital, they ran lights and sirens the whole way. It was 11 o'clock at night and I had no one at the hospital with me, so I call my old co-worker Lindy. She came and let me cry on her shoulder for three hours and then drove Ryan back to the NICU at 3 in the morning to let him check on Owen. God Bless Lindy, she was my rock that night. The next morning they discharged me from the hospital...we went straight to the NICU to hold my baby...

He had an IV in his head and I cried again (although I don't think I ever really stopped until he was safely in my arms again). We brought Owen home on Wednesday and I can't even begin to tell you how relieved I was to escape the constant whirring and beeping of machines that were hooked up to little teeny tiny babies that looked so incredibly sad. I was trying to recover from major surgery and all I had to sit in was a rock hard chair with my trusty boppy pillow. Ryan and I pretty much lived in the NICU for 4 long days with a relatively healthy newborn...we just had to wait for his white blood cell count to go down. He never needed oxygen, just monitoring. I was so glad to get him home in our safe little piece of heaven.

This was a sweet afternoon nap with my precious little baby boy.

A year goes by so quickly and before I knew it my parents were flying to Germany to celebrate Owen's first birthday. We had already been back to the states twice, once when he was four months and the second when he was nine months. He gave me another scare with a trip to the ER in Chicago while trying to fly back to Germany when he was nine months old, this time with severe bronchitis - all this after my dad had just gone through a heart surgery.

They grow so quickly in one year! He was crawling by nine months and walking at 13 months.

Then all of the sudden we were celebrating Owen's second birthday in California with Ryan's family but still had a party at our family home in Colorado Springs. He got to take his first trip to Disneyland! By the time Owen turned two we had moved from Heidelberg, Germany to Colorado Springs, CO and we were packing up to move to El Paso, TX to be with daddy - who had joined back into the Army Reserves and was stationed yet again at Fort Bliss.

We spent his third birthday in Colorado Springs with a big birthday party in my grandma's beautiful backyard. Between two and three we had moved to El Paso, had our horrendous moving accident, bought a house, got pregnant with Joey, and moved back to our family home in Colorado Springs (again...although this time a bit more permanently!) What a trooper Owen was through the whole year, he learned how to talk and loved to ride his little green poliezi car through the house. His fourth birthday was again spent in California with Ryan's parents. And again we had a second party in Colorado with our friends and family. We spent the day in Santa Cruz at the Boardwalk on beach. Owen loves the beach!

We got to ride some rides on the Boardwalk and we let him eat a churro and drink root beer because it was his birthday. He is finally at the fun age of birthdays, he knows what they are all about!

We ended the evening in Monterey Bay where we stayed at the Presidio of Monterey in one of the guest houses generally reserved for officers and their families while in transit - it was a beautiful old bungalow with three bedrooms and one bath. Owen, you got chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and lots of sprinkles on top! The birthday evening ended when we put you to bed and you asked if mommy would stay with you while you fell asleep. I was so honored and touched to be allowed to stay with you and watch you as you fell asleep. I am amazed by how much you have grown and matured in four years. I am still so in love with my baby boy Owen! Happy 4th Birthday!